Funny stuff

[BabsBunny]

This is a link for Lutheran humor....well, it's a lutheran page (made by Lutherans) with humor on it. A lot of it is scandanavian/american (read: upper central USA) in flavor, but I'm sure most of you will find something in here you'll like.

here goes:

Old Lutheran Jokes Page

Enjoy!

-Babs

[Loosy Goosy]

Sorry Babs, I have to cut/paste these bulletin Bloopers. It's just too good to be missed hehe:

Church Bulletin Bloopers
As seen in actual church bulletins

• For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
• Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
• Evening massage - 6 p.m.
• The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
• Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.
• Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.
• The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
• Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
• The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
• Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30p.m. Please use the back door.
• Ushers will eat latecomers.
• The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
• During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
• Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
• Stewardship Offertory: "***** Paid It All"
• Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
• Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
• 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
• The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
• Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
• The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Reverend and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
• This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
• Tuesday at 4PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
• Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing "Put Me In My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.
• Thursday at 5PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.
• This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mr. Vassilas to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
• The service will close with "Little Drops Of Water". One of the ladies will start (quietly) and the rest of the congregation will join in.
• Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.
• The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
• A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
• At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is ****?". Come early and listen to our choir practice.
• The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be **** May 10 and 11.
• Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
• Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
• Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who is preparing for the girth of their first child.
• The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
• The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: " I Upped My Pledge-Up Yours."

[Princess Mo Mo]

I'm here at work reading the Church Bulletin Bloopers and my co-worker heard me laughing my booties off and insisted that I send her whatever it is that's making me laugh so hard.

Oh my lord, I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard and so long. Thanks for sharing, Loosy!

[Loosy Goosy]

Thank BabsBunny!

Thanks BabsBunny!

[BabsBunny]

Originally posted by Loosy Goosy
Thank BabsBunny!

Thanks BabsBunny!

No problemo!

Glad it brought a couple smiles today!

Ole and Lena jokes are a minnesota (and surrounding area) staple. Many people who aren't from here may not find them funny...but in the outskirts of the land here, many of them have a scandanavian accent (the jokes are told in that accent, thus the bad spelling)....anyhow....that's my fav part.

I didn't get much time to spend reading...only 3-4 mins, but thought it was definitely worth posting.

Keep looking, I'm sure there's more there you may find humorous.

-Babs

[MissBooBoo]

Ok I'm posting the Ole & Lena's computer lingo, too funny!

Ole & Lena's Computer Lingo
This is the real Y2K problem...

LOG ON: making da vood stove hotter
LOG OFF: don't add vood
MONITOR : keep an eye on da vood stove
MEGAHERTZ: vhen a big log drops on your barefoot in da morning
FLOPPY DISK: vhat you get from piling too much vood
RAM: da hydraulic thing dat makes da voodsplitter vork
DRIVE: getting home during most of da vinter
PROMPT: vhat ya vish da mail vas during da snow season
ENTER: come on in
WINDOWS: vhat ya shut vhen it gets 10 below
SCREEN: vhat is a must during black fly season
CHIP: vhat ya munch during Packers games
MICROCHIP: vhat's left in da bag vhen da chips are gone
MODEM: vhat ya did to da hay fields last Yuly
DOT MATRIX: Eino Matrix's wife
LAPTOP: vhere da grandkids sit
KEYBOARD: vhere ya suppose to put da keys so da Misses can find em
SOFTWARE: da plastic picnic utensils, ya?
MOUSE: vhat leaves dem little turds in da cupboard
MAINFRAME: da part of da sauna that holds up da roof
PORT: vhere da commericial fishin boats dock
RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: vhen ya can't remember how much ya spent on da new deer rifle vhen da wife asks about it