News Update just for laughs

[Scout]

FUN STUFF! GO GET EM!

[Fancy Snorkle Spinner]

Yay, I love these. I'd love to be in one of them, just incase, my toons name is Dusty. You don't have to include me, I can dream can't I? You have a great sense of humor!

[Lady Freckles]

"Maxie M Horsepower!" More chuckles from me - keep em coming. I love it!

[NjoY]

I think this should be static!! errrm STICKY even.
Just to remind us what we are here for.... To have fun!!
This is what TT is all about.

And it is very very funny. Way to go Static. Keep it up!!

[Static]

Today a press conference was called to discuss the roots and direction of Toontown Eyewitness News.

Originally Posted by NjoY

I think this should be static!! errrm STICKY even.
Just to remind us what we are here for.... To have fun!!
This is what TT is all about.

And it is very very funny. Way to go Static. Keep it up!!

Exactly!!
In these posts I try to keep the spirit up in here after reading so many negitive posts. I agree my very first post in this series I was just as guilty as everyone else. I kinda posted it outta sarcasm after a run went terribly bad, withheld names, but the delivery of it made it sorta funny. After the responses I recieved I decided to run with it, bring a little sunshine into all of our homes, and to help us all forget our differences and see what this game is all about.

Thanks to everyone for all the praises and sorry in advance to those I decide is gonna be the "joke of the day". If you are caught on camera doing something totally "stoopid" it isn't because you are being singled out. It's because we ALL love you and have the highest respect for you.

On a serious note....

We here at Toontown Eyewitness News have interviewed a new person for another roaming news reporter. All that can be said at this time is he's orange, jumps alot, with big ears and buckteeth, and since he is from south of the border he has agreed to do the job twice as hard for half the pay.
Little does he know that half of nothing is still nothing.

After several attempts to contact this person all we have recieved is a recording that says....
<Name Removed> exceeded their stored private messages quota and can not accept further messages until they clear some space.

Sounds ALOT like my message box!

[Static]

Toontown Eyewitness News Report for September 5th

Today in Daisy Gardens, Doggy and Style were spotted for the first time over 200 yards apart. Little does anyone know these two were born joined together as siamese twins and weren't separated until about 2 years ago when during a cog battle that little sliver of skin that connected Doggy's left index finger to Style's right big toe was severed. Since then they have stayed side by side just like they were still joined. We litteraly had to tackle Doggy from a full run heading away from Style just to get a statement. That statement was "Get off of me!! I'm trying to find a fire hydrant!"

With the introduction of gardening coming soon to toontown, Professor Pete said that all food and material used in the toontown school house will now be organically grown from jellybeans. This not only includes school supplies and luches but also desks and chairs. This in turn caused a group of toons to start planning what they call "The million toon march". They plan to march right up to the steps of toon hall and demand to Flippy that this be changed. The organiser of this event is our very own Sir Glue Stick. We intervied him about why this was such an important issue to him and he replied......
"My great great grandstallion lost his job in 1914 when Henry Ford introduced the first self powered carriage. Since then our family couldn't find work in anything other than adhesives and the school lunch program. I plan to stand strong on my own 4 feet and fight for the jobs for our future families. They will not take this away from us!"
A few of the others that have already signed up to march are "Original Ressie Pea", a golden brown duck, "Chow Mein", a small red cat, and one toon resembling a cow named "Rose Ann Arnold". Rumor has it that a Pencil Pusher is also agreeing to attend which can not be confirmed at this time.

One other story has came across the desk here at Toontown Eyewitness News but at this time we have not been given approvial from our producers to air it.

Stay tooned for more Toontown Eyewitness News

Disney, Toontown, The CCG, and anyone else not mentioned, are registered trademarks belonging to their respected parties. None of the fore mentioned endorses or takes claim the same beliefs as the statements in these articles. These post are made solely for entertainment purposes, carry no claims for accuracy, and shouldn't be read by anyone. Any simularities of people both real or fictional in these post are actually intended and done so only out of fun and are really respected in the highest manner by the writer. Hot coffee still feels 20 degrees hotter when spewed from the nose and is not recommended to be done as a remedy for congested sinuses. And one final thing to remember, ONLY you can prevent forest fires. Not anyone else. ONLY YOU!

[Lady Freckles]

This has definitely become my favorite thread to read lately - gives me a good 'Laff' to start the day!

[Scout]

Thanks again Static for reminding us all about keeping things as fun and silly as they should be.

[Little Fancy Pedalwhip]

Bravo Bravo!!! Love the news reports. I'll keep an eye out for that million toon march!

[King Leroy Hulatooth]

Thank you so much for these! What a great way to put myself in a good mood before I ead off to school(UGH). Thanks again! These are great!

[Murky]

Originally Posted by Static

Last edited by Static : Today at 02:51 AM. Reason: Useing Speel Chicker versoin 1.1

I loved this part. It's all great stuff, but this was icing on the cake.

[pixanator]

me thinks there might be a new riding around on his thru the streets of Toontown.

[OohLalala]

LOL. This is the best!! I keep cracking up. Keep it going!

[DJ Max]

Originally Posted by Good Ol' Murky Paddlefink

I loved this part. It's all great stuff, but this was icing on the cake.

I loved this part:

Originally Posted by Static

Disney, Toontown, The CCG, and anyone else not mentioned, are registered trademarks belonging to their respected parties. None of the fore mentioned endorses or takes claim the same beliefs as the statements in these articles. These post are made solely for entertainment purposes, carry no claims for accuracy, and shouldn't be read by anyone. Any simularities of people both real or fictional in these post are actually intended and done so only out of fun and are really respected in the highest manner by the writer. Hot coffee still feels 20 degrees hotter when spewed from the nose and is not recommended to be done as a remedy for congested sinuses. And one final thing to remember, ONLY you can prevent forest fires. Not anyone else. ONLY YOU!

[Static]

WARNING

After forwarding this report to one of our fellow moderators I have decided to post this one as a TRIBUTE to one of our fellow humans. This story is not written to make fun of or make lite of the tragic loss that has been bestowed upon us. IT IS A TRIBUTE TO THE MAN WE ALL KNEW. WE have recently lost a great entertainer and educator that risked his life day after day to bring us information about what most of us call dangerous animals. I personally enjoyed his shows and still have the highest respect for him because he did exactly what my parents told me to do when I was young. Find something you enjoy and make a career of it. Most of us don't have that luxury in life. He did. And even though his life was cut short, he left us while doing what he enjoyed the most. Steve Irwin, The Croc Hunter, will be greatly missed.

I do not want to get alot of hate messages for this post so I will give you a little bit of what it is about first so you can stop reading it now. This post is written about a small duck resembling Steve Irwin, The Croc hunter, doing one of his shows. If you believe that you may be offended by this PLEASE STOP READING NOW. This will be your last warning.

WARNING

Toontown Eyewitness News Special Report

Today in Toontown we lost one of our dearest friends.
His real name was Steven Duckwin but we all knew his as the "Cog Hunter". A small yellow duck that risked his life everyday to educate us on what each species of Cog was and the dangers that came along with battling them. He surely will be missed in the toon world. We here at Toontown Eyewitness News would like to air the audio from one of his earlier encounters to pay tribute to all he had accomplished.

"Today we are searching thoughout a four story lawbot buildings looking for a greatly feared Legal Eagle. These cogs come in sizes ranging from a level 7 newborn with 72 hit points all the way up to a level 11, 156 hit point adult. Please do not mistake one of these for an American Bald Eagle. These things have been known to cause many sadualities.

SHHHHHH! Quiet. I think I hear one right around the corner.

OH LOOK. Isn't he beautiful? There he is in all his splendor standing around 9 feet tall. These are not known to be an aggressive species of cog so we have to provoke him a little to see how he attacks. Lets spray him with this seltzer bottle.

OUCH! I've been hit! That was known as his Jargon attack. It takes away as little as 7 laff and as much as 15 laff like the one that just hit me.

Let me dust myself off a bit and see if we can get a look at another one of his signature attacks. Lets hit him with a cream pie this time.

Direct hit! @$#! that hurt! That was the Legalese attack and it ranges anywhere from 11 to 21 laff. I was lucky that time and only took 16 damage. Good thing I have 65 laff left. To get any closer to this beast we have to knock him out cold. Lets drop this piano on his head.

BANG!

Well the good news is we got him. Hit him square on top of his feathery head. The bad news is we woke up a flock of these monsterious beats.

LOOK OUT! THEY ARE ATTACKING! %@#$! @#$%! &*@$!

Three direct 22 laff Pecking Order hits. Looks like I'm heading back to the playground for now but not before I snatch one of these feathers off his head to show you how soft it is.

Be sure to toon in next time as we go toe to toe with the CFO in one of his very own vaults."

Please take a moment with us at Toontown Eyewitness News to honor our fellow fallen friend. He will be missed by all of us here.

Also our next report SHOULD be from our new "South of the Border" Reporter IF he hasn't been deported yet. He may have a little accent but we here at Toontown Eyewitness News are working with him on that.


Disney, Toontown, The CCG, and anyone else not mentioned, are registered trademarks belonging to their respected parties. None of the fore mentioned endorses or takes claim the same beliefs as the statements in these articles. These post are made solely for entertainment purposes, carry no claims for accuracy, and shouldn't be read by anyone. Any simularities of people both real or fictional in these post are actually intended and done so only out of fun and are really respected in the highest manner by the writer. Please take the time to rate this thread in whole and not by a single post. The actual subject of death is not a laffing matter but the celebration of ones life can be when you remember the contributions that person has made in your life.